cinematic erratic

50/50 stars Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Seth Rogen (unbeatable combo) and is about Joseph’s character, Adam, finding out at the age of 27 that he has cancer.  It’s titled 50/50 because Adam finds out that those are his chances of survival. Just by knowing who the two lead actors are it’s not hard to figure out that this movie is not entirely serious, but since it is indeed about cancer the movie is like an emotional roller-coaster.  Watching this movie was one of the many moments in my life where I felt like if someone could just peek into my life and watch me (not unlike Clay Aiken’s incredibly creepy song “Invisible”) they would think I was an absolute looney toon. I went from bawling crying to laughing my ass off and then straight back to weeping like a baby… multiple times. 

Here’s a little example for ya of how cancer can (apparently) be hilarious:

Seth Rogen’s character, Kyle, convinces Adam to try to use his cancer as a way to “pick up chicks” as the kids would say these days. They get to the bar and at first Adam’s just like, “Hey how’s it going?” to some random girl and she just walks away, so Kyle suggests that he just gets straight to the point… 

Adam: “Great song.”

Bar girl: “Yea..”

Adam: “I have cancer.”

(Bar girl walks away)

Kyle: “I was wrong. I was wrong. It was weird like that.” 

Well, the whole movie was weird like that. And I liked it. 

Red State is a film written and directed by Kevin Smith. It could be placed into the “horror/action” category, but above all it is about the ability humans have to create an evil within themselves that is far scarier than any horror film. Kevin Smith wrote this movie based on Rev. Fred Phelps and his followers (who appeared at the Sundance premiere to protest the film). As shown in the picture above, Smith showed up with his own signs… to protest their protest. I could go on about who Fred Phelps is, but you can just Wiki it since SOPA and PIPA got shot dooowwwwnnnnnn. 

The movie starts out with a mom and her teenage son, played by Michael Angarano of Almost Famous and Lords of Dogtown, driving past a group of people protesting the funeral of a young gay man. (This is something that Fred Phelps and his follwers are well known for). When Michael gets to school his friend tells him and another boy about this website where you can find girls who are from your city and D.T.F. They decide to contact and meet up with a woman on the website. Turns out this woman is a part of the congregation that had been protesting the funeral earlier that day. She (incorrectly) assumes that these boys are gay since they all came together to hook up with her, so she drugs them and takes them to the church so that they can serve God by teaching these boys a lesson… That’s all you get. Hope that’s motivation enough to watch it yourself. 

The thing about all of this that really gets to me is that it doesn’t have to be God. It could be anything. Anything that people get into their heads that makes them believe that they are right and that the rest of the world is just filled with idiots. If you think of all of the injustice in the world, whether it be war between countries or a fight between friends, it stems from people wanting to prove the point that they are right and everyone should think and do as they do. But nobody is right. No one. No exceptions. Everyone has their different ideas that help them sleep at night. Some people can’t help believing in God. Some need to believe in God to get them through the day. For some people, not believing in God helps them sleep at night. The point is that there are no answers to anything at all in this big scary clusterf*** of a world. The only thing I do know is that if you believe yourself to be better than another individual, idea, or culture you need to check yourself before you wreck yourself. And please don’t go around killing people to prove your point… I mean, what? Yeaaaa… Watch the movie. 

The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo

On February 26, 2012 (I believe that’s the date) Rooney Mara will win an Academy Award for Best Actress. That is all I have to say today.

Warning: If you have a weak stomach and/or don’t handle violence well… you still need to see it. Just make sure you don’t eat too much before the movie so there’s nothing to vom up.  

That’s not a joke.

Felicity Jones

I am finding this post very hard to write, but I am also finding myself writing in a British accent… which makes everything a little bit better. I suppose both of these could use further explanation. Like Crazy is an independent film directed by Drake Doremus about a boy and a girl who fall in love. Anna, played by Felicity Jones, is from the U.K. but is studying on a student visa in Los Angeles. There’s the explanation for the British accent (which is still happening). Jacob is played by Anton Yelchin. After they graduate from college Anna is forced to go back home to the U.K. for a short period, expecting to return and be with Jacob again. The day she’s supposed to return Jacob shows up at the airport with a bouquet of flowers only to learn that Anna is being sent directly back to the U.K. for violating her student visa. The rest of the movie can be summed up in two words: long distance. 

Anyone who has been in a long distance relationship probably doesn’t need any more explanation than that. The question is … Do they finally find a way to be together? And the answer is… I. don’t. freaking. know. Anyone ever use megavideo? Or “megashare”? 

Ahem… “You have watched 72 minutes of video today. Please wait 30 minutes…” Cool. I’m not like super engrossed in this movie or anything. Only like ten minutes left to find out what happens to them. No big deal. It’s cool. Thanks a heap megaBUTT. Oh well… guess I’ll blog. 

Usually I don’t like my movie view-age to be interrupted, in fact there is nothing I hate more, but after twenty minutes of watching this movie I had to call my boyfriend. For the past two years Christmas has been a little tainted because it is one of the few times of year when me and Chad are forced to spend several weeks apart from each other. Tomorrow morning it will have been two weeks since we’ve seen each other which, in reality, is nothing compared to the months that Anna and Jacob must go without each other.  Going about day to day life makes things a little more bearable - visiting with friends, listening to mindless rap music, playing with my wittle poodle Ewwie Bewwie Boo Boo Boo - these things keep my mind distracted. However, sitting alone in my house watching this movie… Oy vay. I was just slapped in the face with the reality of how much I miss him and how much harder everything is without that goober around. If you’re reading this, Chad, I love you doody. This blog goes out to you. I want you. I love you. I need you. I miss you. Like crazy. 

I’m thinking that my 30 minutes just might be up by now, but one last thought: Felicity Jones. I love her. She was also in Albatross, the last movie I wrote about, and I mean it when I say that everyone must see both of these movies as soon as possible. She is a truly inspiring actress and I can’t wait to see her work to come. Also, Anton Yelchin is the shit but pretty sure this is something we’ve all known for a while now. Together… Unbeatable combination. 

I’ve always wanted to be a hard ass. There have been points in my life where I’ve been close - points when I was particularly cynical about the world, a few times when I had my lip pierced, times when all I could see was everyone’s immense amount of bullshit. But you grow up. And you realize that being a hard ass is actually pretty weak. It reminds me of this quote from Girl, Interrupted. It’s a little too early for me to have the motivation to look up the quote exactly (it’s noon…), but it’s something about how everyone has flaws and you can either indulge in these flaws and possibly commit yourself to a psych ward or you can work on them. This may sound like common sense, but this is a problem I’ve always had. It’s easy to want to use your problems as a crutch, as an excuse to be wreckless… Cause being wreckless is fun. No doubt. 

In this movie, Albatross, that I just watched there’s a girl that embodies what I’m talking about perfectly. In fact, when the movie first started, I kept thinking damn this girl is sick (in a good way). Emelia’s got this grungy style, which anyone who knows me knows I’m a little too much a fan of the 90’s grunge look. And she’s got this cynicism about her that actually leads her to seem really happy and free spirited. Which is exactly how I’ve found life to be - the points when I am the most cynical and actually pretty depressed are when I’m, in a way, my happiest - because when there’s no need to please other people it’s impossible to be anything but yourself - and what better feeling is there than being yourself completely and unapologetically? Emelia says things that other people wouldn’t have the balls to say and she’s just got this way about her that makes you almost jealous that she DOES have such big balls. It’s like… why aren’t my balls that big? Can I not have big balls too?

But then you keep watching and you realize that they call it being wreckless for a reason. This is yet another instance where I’m really tempted to just write out the whole story but this movie is too good for me to do that - you’ll have to see it yourself. But she pretty much messes up. Big time. But don’t worry she learns from her mistakes in the end… It is a movie after all. 

Finals are overrrr :) Yesterday I flew to North Carolina to hang out with my dad.  Last night we watched Untraceable, and it terrrrrified me. It’s this movie about this website where murders are streamed live and the more people that visit the website the faster the person dies.  For example, one of the victims gets cement poured all around him so that his waist down and his hands are stuck in the cement. He wakes up in this situation and is surrounded by like fifty super bright light bulbs.  It starts with just a few of the lights on and the more people that view the site the more light bulbs turn on. The website goes so viral that the numbers are shooting up like crazy and the guys skin starts to bubble and fry until he dies (not unlike the girls on Final Destination). It seems messed up that so many people would tune in to a site like that but then again I really enjoyed this movie so maybe I’m just as messed up. Let’s hope not.

Diane Lane plays the main detective and Colin Hanks (the nerd in House Bunny) plays her co-worker… who eventually becomes one of the victims.

Have you ever seen someone in a movie and you think, “Oh what do I know him from?!” and then you go home and IMDB the person and even though you’ve seen some of the movies he’s been in you never get that “Oh, that was it!” closure? Joseph Cross, ladies and gentlemen.  He plays the bad guy and that just happened to me.

Overall it’s a good movie for people who like scary movies - no cheesy pop outs or scary movie cliches. It’s one of those movies that you’re kind of like “this could really happen” even though it’s pretty crazy. I’m not ashamed to say that after watching this I was super paranoid about cyber freaks and changed all of my Facebook privacy settings even though Facebook has nothing to do with the movie. Maybe I should stop watching scary movies if I’m gonna be such a pussy about it… Naahhhhhh.

So this morning, between classes, I watched Swingers, an independent film from 1996 starring Vince Vaughn, Heather Graham, Ron Livingston, and Jon Favreau. First of all I must say that I IMDBed (yes, that’s a verb) the director, Doug Liman, and apparently he was the executive producer of The O.C.?! What?! The O.C. happens to be my guilty pleasure and only televised obsession. Every year I rewatch the whole series. But back to Swingers… Jon Favreau (who wrote the movie) plays a super strange, awkward dude as usual. Throughout the movie he’s trying to get over his ex. Actually. Scratch that. More accurately: He indulges in his self induced misery as his friends try desperately to get him to move on. All of the main characters are struggling actors and there’s plenty of film references throughout the movie. It’s a great movie for film lovers. I also highly recommend this movie for anyone who does not like Vince Vaughn. That might sound strange, but I’ve never liked him til this movie, so try it out. 

After not-so-careful consideration I have decided to write about movies + whatever the poop I want, rather than only indie or foreign movies in semi-official critique form. The idea of watching one movie a week for this blog got me too excited and I started to realize all of the other movies I wanted to see. And I realized that I have NEVER seen a movie with Marilyn Monroe in it! So just now, when I was supposed to be studying for my Italian quiz that I have in eight hours, I watched Let’s Make It Legal. This movie came out in 1951 and it’s so crazy cause Marilyn Monroe is but a mere co-star who literally only appears in three short scenes. 

I’ve always loved the idea of Marilyn Monroe, but I decided that I wanted to become educated in the actual cinematic history of her as an actress, so I’m going to try to watch all of her movies that are available on Netflix instant queue. Don’t worry. I’ll spread them out so I’m not writing about twenty Marilyn Monroe movies back to back. But as I was watching this movie I couldn’t help but think about how messed up America is. Part of Marilyn Monroe’s fame is supposed to be that she was all curvacious and healthy right? Some have even gone as far to call her overweight. And it’s just absurd! She looks so normal, the fact that people look back on her as a bigger woman blows my mind. 

Anyway, this movie was actually really good. It’s about an older couple who are getting divorced and the entire movie their daughter is trying to get them back together and everyone’s just kind of playing these love games the whole time. I won’t spoil the ending, but you should check it out and see for yourself. 

Mary and Max, a claymation film that came out in 2009, is the story of an unlikely friendship between two very different people. Mary Dinkle is an eight-year old girl from Australia whose “eyes were the color of muddy puddles, her birth mark… the color of poo.” Mary has a hard time making friends her own age because of her insecurities, so she spends most of her time alone watching a television show called The Noblets and eating her favorite kind of food, sweetened condensed milk. One day Mary asks her grandfather where babies come from, and he tells her that they come from the bottom of beer glasses.

Curious as to where babies come from in America, and longing for a real friend, she randomly chooses an address to write to in America.  The man she chooses is a middle-aged, over-weight, Jewish man with Aspergers living in New York City. Max writes back to her explaining that contrary to her belief American babies do not come from soda cans. He so kindly explains to her that when he was four his mother explained to him that, “they came from eggs laid by rabbis.  If you aren’t Jewish they’re laid by catholic nuns. If you’re an atheist they’re laid by dirty, lonely prostitutes.”

Although incredibly different people Max and Mary share in their loneliness, fondness for all things chocolate, and love of The Noblets.  Mary likes The Noblets because, “everyone was brown, lived in a tea pot, and had oodles of friends.” Max likes The Noblets because, “they lived in a delineated and articulated social structure with constant adherent conformity… and also because they had oodles of friends.” Mary and Max help each other grow and learn from each other as they keep in touch for many years. 

Since this is my first blog post I’m still kind of trying to figure out how to write out my thoughts on these movies. How much do I want to tell? Do I spoil the whole plot? Do I give away the ending? Me thinks not. I’ve decided that what I’m going to do is tell you just enough about the movie to get you interested and tell you whether it’s shitty or not. Basically just trying to spread some movie love here, y’all. And let me tell you, this movie is anything but shitty. The dialogue is ROFLcopter* hilarious, the claymation is fantabulous, and the characters are surprisingly relatable. Both Mary and Max represent the “weird” of the world. The ones who are outcast for being different, but because of their difference are able to see the world through unfiltered eyes in a way that balances childhood innocence with pure cynicism. 

Mary and Max was created by Adam Elliot who also made Harvie Krumpet which won an Academy Award for Best Animated Short Film in 2003.  Toni Collette, from Little Miss Sunshine and Muriel’s Wedding, plays the voice of Mary.  The one and only Philip Seymour Hoffman plays the voice of Max.  Mary and Max won Best Animated Feature at the Ottawa International Animation Festival in 2009. Mary and Max and Coraline shared the “Cristal” for Best Feature at the Annecy International Animation Film Festival.  It was almost nominated for an Academy Award… But it wasn’t. Watch it. You won’t regret it. (Currently available on Netflix).

*ROFLcopter: Rolling On the Floor Laughing while spastically and uncontrollably moving in circles, not unlike a helicopter.